Better Life, Christian Life, Healing, Inspiration, Self-Development, Self-Discovery

Becoming a mom turned my life upside down and back again

I have been sharing tips and how-tos on this blog, but now I would like to share with you my journey on finding God amidst motherhood.

As some people would know, I have been a believer in Christ all my life–studying in a Catholic school, being part of different religious organizations, serving in a Christian church and ministries, and all.

But all these, I did for myself. For my glory, not God’s.

So and when I realized that I was giving and giving but not getting anything anymore, I turned to different things.

This did not happen instantaneously. I slowly slipped away from God, looking for temporary happiness, until I got lost.

But with God’s grace, I found my way back in an unexpected way: by being a mother.

So if you lost your way too, this post is for you.

I was stuck in a rut for the past few days, months, even years.

There were times when I just want the world, the time, everything, to stop.

There were times when I don’t want to get up anymore.

Then I’ll cherish the times when I was still that career woman with big dreams.

During that time, I had my life planned ahead of me as an ambitious goal-getter.

I was supposed to shape up and improve myself, so I can pursue the career that I was eyeing.

I was going to get that Master’s degree and travel the world with the person that I love.

But this tiny human came. And my life turned upside down.

Sharing my body with him was not even a quarter of the struggles.

I was often seen smiling, but really, I was battling my demons inside.

As an exhausted breastfeeding mom, I was forced to get by with the sleepless nights and sore breasts.

As an unwed daughter living with her parents, I felt helpless whenever blamed for my circumstances, as if I don’t blame myself too.

As a worried mother who has to return to work after a couple of months, I realized that people won’t truly understand.

As a brokenhearted woman, I saw my dream of having a complete family crumbling in front of me.

As an anxious mom fighting postpartum depression, I cried every single night while my toddler cries at the same time.

And that was my turning point.

With nothing to hold on to, with no one to go to, I turned to God, and He gave me comfort.

I surrendered all to God, and He made my worries fade away.

I lifted up my weary heart, and He gave me rest and peace of mind.

I prayed for guidance, and He made me see my purpose.

So, as a believer who accepted God as her savior, I fought and is still fighting every single day with God’s grace.

Yes, I still get stuck every now and then.

But I can’t make the world, the time, and everything else to stop.

So I have to get up, after cherishing the old times, then be grateful on how God led me to where I am now.

Whenever I get weary and lost, I pray to God then I’ll look at the tiny creature lying beside me.

His hands are so small, yet he holds a huge part of my heart

His face is so innocent, yet he changed my life drastically.

Because he gave my life a new purpose.

Because he made me turn back to God.

And he is my little yet greatest blessing.